Conversations with Person/Ben Vogel, Person/Gaby Perkes, and Person/Anne Gravely
I've said this before and I'll say it again, the formula for making friends is not complicated. Actually doing it is complicated.
Reach out, make plans, follow through with the plans. Repeat.
when people say "I just don't know how to make friends" or that "people never want to stay friends" very often they're trying to skip one of those steps. What they're actually saying is "people don't want to be friends on my terms and on my timetable" or "I can't find people to be entertaining while I don't put in as much effort"
OK bear with me for for a minute: I've been thinking about this recently in terms of Spontaneous Desire vs Responsive Desire vs Contextual Desire. These are terms thrown around in the study of human sexuality but I think they're still valid when applied to platonic relationships
People move between those 3 types often throughout their lives and disconnect can happen when two (or more) people have different types of engagement
Haven't thought this 100% through yet but I'll give it a runthrough
Spontaneous Desire: Comes out of nowhere, needs no prompting. This is like when you randomly go "Oh man I miss XYZ we should hand out." There's nothing that caused you to think that you just did
Responsive Desire: You are interested when others show interest but it never occurs to you if unprompted. This is the type of friend who is always down to hang out but never initiates.
Contextual Desire: As it sounds it's based on context, your internal circumstances and environmental circumstances. You go visit your parents and there's an old friend who you all of a sudden you want to hang out with
Yeah they're pretty interesting! I do want to clarify though that (especially with responsive and contextual ) it's not that desire/interest isn't there until someone else "creates it" it's more that the other person helps bring forward something that already existed
Not Used {{word-count}}
Friend dating can suck just as much as actual dating
I wonder how people who take the shotgun approach to friendship
Roam Research tags as atomic units of measure and filter
Thinking about How to communicate with empathy and collaboration
Sharp Enough to Cut Yourself: Using Humor to {{or: Soften the Sting|Dull the Burn|Dull the Pain}} of Exposing Biases
*Note* I'm going to be extremely verbose in this post, that is honestly easier than it sounds. Most people do all of these things already, most subconsciously. It's all about making the subconscious practices intentional and directed.
Problem
searching highlights is fractured across 3 different platforms
Different platforms are best for different types of searches
sql fine control
notion - visually nice
readwise - review and find new sources
Solution ideas
use readwise as a master source
need to continuously diff version of munger
Diff between mun1 and mun2
for book in mun1 search for book in mun2
if exists
for highlight in book search for corresponding id in mun2
if exists diff
if change use mun1 as parent
else
add as new
have to translate from json to sql which is bad
json can be nicely handled by some python filtering
sql not needed
cuts out open source effect
simultaneously