My fear did not own me – I owned it

My fear did not own me - I owned it

The key to the Empire maintaining control over the lands it conquered isn’t fear, my dear, it’s apathy.

The key to the Empire maintaining control over the lands it conquered isn't fear, my dear, it's apathy.

Amadeus

Fate is the coward’s way out, Catherine,” he spat out. “It is the denial of personal responsibility. Every decision I have made was my own choice, and all consequences that come from it are on my head.”

I am a splendid liar,” he agreed pleasantly. “But I don’t bother when the truth serves my purposes just as well.

"I don’t think they were wrong to want the things they wanted, but I just… didn’t. It was frustrating, the way they didn’t understand why I was like I am, so after a while I stopped trying."

I was Catherine Foundling, daughter of no one and nothing. I’d fought people for gold once, but earned only silver.

Prove it,” I rasped. “If you want your way to beat mine, then come at me again. Properly. Earn your Name, hero. Run and hide and muster your armies in the dark. Make deals you’ll regret until you have nothing left to bargain with. I’ll be waiting for you, on the other side of that battlefield.” The Swordsman’s face went blank as I let my sword come down. “But remember this,” I said. “Tonight? I won.”

Mercy might be the mark of a great man, but then so’s a tombstone.

they crept up on you, the trappings of power. One inch at a time, until you forgot you’d ever lived without them

Their deaths had been unasked for, and they were not my fault, but the were my responsibility nonetheless.

 Justifications only matter to the just.

I know you’re not,” I admitted. “Which is why I’m going to say this: if a single one of them dies, I will make a monument to ruin of you. All that has ever given you joy, I will turn to ashes. Everyone you’ve ever loved, I will break so thoroughly they die cursing your name. I will undo everything you’ve ever accomplished, wipe the slate of your existence so clean there won’t be a person alive that remembers you were ever born. I will take no pleasure in it, but I will do it.

So, you’re Captain Juniper,” I said. “I’d make a pithy comment about expecting you to be taller, but you’ve got at least two feet on me.”

Shield met sword and I pushed forward again, stabbing forward only to find my own sword bouncing off the orc’s armour.

first among them a large orc in legionary armour who idled her way down the dirt path

There was not a sound except for the creaking of our leather boots, and a shiver went up my spine as we came before the gates. They were just as hulking as the rest of this madman’s nightmare, smooth obsidian marred by the thousands of runes and symbols carved into it. I could feel a dull thrum coming from them, age-old sorcery permeating the very air around it.

I’d been provided with another goblin-wrought short sword. The grinning goblin’s head the last pommel had been shaped as had been replaced by a stylized version of green flames.

I’d thought I’d seen the Tower. It was impossible to miss even miles away from Ater, that hulking spire of dark stone that jutted out into the perpetual storm clouds. After passing through the Gate of Bones with the other cadets I’d gotten a closer look, glimpsed the tall arches in the stone that served as windows and the hundreds of balconies that sprang from them. The stories did not do it justice.

The thick black cloak held tight against my shoulders by a woven golden braid was new, though, and I felt like I was getting strangled every time I took a breath. There was something odd about the cloth – every now and then, when I moved, the way it caught the light made it look like it was made of pitch black feathers.

There was no comprehending how enormous the Tower really was, until you stood at its feet. You could have fit the entire ruins at the Blessed Isle inside its walls, and it was so tall I couldn’t even see the top of it. The stone stairs leading up to the gates were carved into the likeness of weeping men and women, every step taken coming squarely on their backs. Charming. Was there such a thing as an evil architect?

You're still trying to win according to the rules, when you should be trying to win despite them.

You’re bribing me,” she accused. “Shamelessly so,” I admitted. “But the fact that I have to bribe you means you’re worth bribing

I left my shield behind, keeping the folded stool under my arm instead.

The tall female orc strode out of the gate-hole without a shield or a helmet, though like me she’d kept her sword at her side. I was amused to note she’d brought a stool of her own, of identical make.

Thunder clapped twice and both our standards appeared in the sky, orange-red.

setting up her own seat to face mine barely a few feet away. The wooden frame creaked under the weight of her when she sat down, still silent.