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Powered by 🌱Roam GardenFebruary 7th, 2022
aggression is a strategy to lower internal anxiety around perceived gender threats. It's a highly effective strategy but only for the person experiencing the stress. toxic masculinity
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#[Twitter thread] by Amy Bucher: I've noticed I use the phrase "you guys" a lot, and I'd like to stop. "Folks" and "y'all" are good gender-neutral alternatives but neither feels quite natural. I'm sure practice will help. In the meantime, other collective forms of address you like?
I partially blame Goonies for this. https://t.co/P5m24PACyg__
I've gotten tons of great suggestions for greetings. What about direct address? Use case: "It seems you guys all agree on . . ."__
just drop "guys" : "It seems you all agree on..."
__Dang, I was about to roll in here with :Hi, everybody!" Dr. Nick style from The Simpsons but I see that that would not be of any use.
(Seriously, I have just been going with "folks" or "everyone," or in the case above, "you all" as two distinctive Yankee words.)__
__If you're leading a meeting it's often better to ask someone else to summarize what they heard from Group, then check for consensus
This avoids problem of missing good ideas because everyone just agrees w/ TheBoss (Yes-Persons?)
Add your thoughts, at the end, if needed__
I use "hey friends" a lot. It also reminds me to be, uh.... friendly
That was amazing.
been training myself to use y'all and it feels natural now... but someone once asked me why a canadian was talkin' like a texan which was a fun convo
I try to consciously use"folks" and " y'all". I feel like it comes off too folksy, but feel better about that than saying "guys". Have to top my hat to Sean Badger for raising my awareness and drooling home how much some words matter.
__+1
Used to feel so weird to me, but now my "y'all's" are second nature. Just took some time to get used to!__
He is great at that kind of thing.__
8 years on, I still have my WWSBD? sticky note on my desk.
Whenever I refer to anyone named Sean, my friend asks "Is this World According to Sean or a different one?"__
I have pulled out "The World According to Gordy", especially recently.
I do that too! I don't know if I can stop. LOL. The equivalent is gals, so you could say "guys and gals". Ha. I call ladies "guys" as in "fellow bretheren" and think it is fairly innocuous, but "Hu-man" and "Man-kind" have this issue also? How far do we go in changing terms?
I've been thinking a lot lately about "how far do we go" and my answer is... Language has always evolved and will continue to. So we keep going, particularly when we hear from other people that our language choices harm them.
From a perfectionist empath who always wants to do right and thinks after speaking as opposed to before... it is a genuine question. I am literally afraid to speak and second guess every word I say.
I have been ruminating on the "you guys" thing for a full week so I get it. I think your empathy positions you well, if it means you'll listen when people have feedback and make efforts at growth. Nobody's perfect!__
I think that’s just it, I’ve never heard about this until now, so empathy had not previously been activated. Then I’m like ok what else am I not aware of? Ack! Good article on this folks, btw ;) https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/08/guys-gender-neutral/568231/BnbB
It’s impossible to be right every time. Accepting correction or feedback with grace and without beating yourself up is key.
I think for people who grew up where we did, "guys" feels gender-neutral, but it's definitely not for everyone. I would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable if there's a better option. It's a process!__
Ugh I said you guys in a zoom and then caught myself and then repeated it out loud again and I hate it. I am so awk. I don’t like saying folks because it seems so 1950s to me too and I don’t know what to say! Hey ladies and germs doesn’t work either .
Ok everyone works why didn’t I think of that? My brain is so behind
“You all” felt strange for me at first but it feels really natural after a while.
A few of my colleagues have used "folks" quite a bit and I've noticed it's become more natural for me over time. If we were a little further South, we could pull off a "y'all"
Used to feel the same about folks and y’all but they have both become more natural with time
“Hello dear citizens!” - but in honesty I just say “hello everyone” or I’ll actually say “monsieurs et madames” which is inherently gendered but feels gendered in the same way that la table is gendered as female
"Comrades"
__"Fellow Travelers" ?
Because we're all going through something.__
Also, team works in some situations.
Us, if it works in context.
Depending on the audience, "folks," "all," "everyone," and occasionally "peeps" but none of them feel fully natural, even after playing around with options for several years.
Everyone (?) ✨
hey peeps, folks, people, everyone, friends are all good.
Y’all is what we do use in Texas. Actually throughout the south, “although “you all” is also used. English doesn’t have a word for “you plural,”so we make one up.The Romance languages do,such as Ustedes in Spanish. My aunt from Ohio says “You’ns,” & I’ve heard Yous Guys as well
It's strange that a language so rich in vocabulary lacks a second-person plural. "Everyone" will have to do until something better comes along. (We used to have "ye," but that's now reserved for Kanye West.)
Amy, might I challenge you to put your platform behind this? https://twitter.com/MaryRealGood/status/1287088526379474946?s=19
Friends / peeps / folks / everyone are my go-tos ☺️
Everyone, people, dear fellow humans, you all.. These are from my vocabulary. I am very conscious of this and now whenever someone says "Hi guys", I am tempted to correcting the underlying unknown bias.
a few year's ago I learned that this was a problem, so I started a "guy jar" like a swear jar, but for the word Guy. Also it helped for a while, but the people around you make a diff. I changed offices and had to reset due to its culture.
“Hey everyone” works for me as well...
That's great for a greeting! I find I pepper "you guys" into sentences though. "You guys did great," that kind of thing.__
Does “you all” feel natural?
It will take practice but it could.__
As a born & raised southerner, I intentionally use y’all with pts & families
I am not English native, with an accent and I say "you all", not y'all, 2 words :) I don't think I want to know how it sounds to a native ear 😅
I'm sure it sounds just fine!__
Also feel free to use You Gals interchangeably with guys till we fix this problem.
__As I work in an international team I also like. Namaste. its more like Good (Morning|Evening|Afternoon|$DATETIME).
I am not sure if taking advantage of another languages awesome word is cultural appropriation. I like to think that since Hindi has a better tool for the job use it__
For some reason you just reminded me of https://t.co/aY4VQSm4r2__
dont be ageist :p I am only 38.
Hi, fellow Relatively Independent Subtotalities! https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/8210844-the-undivided-wholeness-of-all-things-most-mind-boggling-of-all
__recently tweeted this.
Here are some ideas: https://katydecorah.com/hey-guys/ (credit to @kmishmael for the find!)
Thank you!__
"cowards" is a fun, gender neutral term!
LOVE IT__
A lot of these phrases tend to have geographical ties. Great study by Joshua Katz while at NCState https://www.businessinsider.com/american-english-dialects-maps-2018-1most-of-the-us-says-you-guys-while-southerners-say-yall-1 https://t.co/LpTAZWvXDF
This is partly why "y'all," which I love, falls flat from my tongue. I am such a New Englander.__
I know you've said there it doesn't feel natural to you, but I swear by "alright folks" as a good gender-neutral address.
I know some of this will feel more natural with practice.__
__"Hello, lovely people!"
"You lot"
"Hello, creatures!"__
I think you are much more charming than I am! 😂__
I love me some Pittsburgh "yinz" action!
For reasons you can't possibly be aware of, I hate this suggestion! 😂😂😂__
__“Friends,” “colleagues,” “people.”
If i’m writing and have more time to think, I can get more creative - “Spartans,” “argonauts,” “you meddling kids”__
It's the midstream ones that trip me up. I keep saying things like "you guys did great" and then mentally kicking myself.__
But probably more likely “you guys messed up.”
No, this was a work context so they did great. You're used to my friend critique.__
I appreciate that you are actively working to change this. 😊
It's time!__
I just wish it was cool to use "peeps" in a formal setting. And after the '90's.
I absolutely do with friends because I am very uncool :). Need something better for professional!__
__I'm a big fan of "folks" and "gang", though for a week I started using 90s band names and that was poorly received.
"Good morning, you Fine Young Cannibals"
"How are you New Radicals?"
"See you tomorrow, Hootie and Assorted Blowfish"
I'm back to "folks" by office consensus__
What up, Smash Mouths?__
See? Works in every situation.
Pretty sure buckaroos is gender neutral.
Also totally overcomes it sounding awkward in my mouth 😂😂__
Nothing substantive to add but you're getting a lot of engagement on this tweet and I wanted to be supportive
Hurtful
Is there a way around all of them? What’s a sentence you’re using this in?
I noticed it facilitating a workshop where I offer synthesis of the work. "You guys really seem to have converged on a theme of . . ." Also, "you guys did a great job."__
I do this too with students. I’m committed to working on it, as well. Maybe “all of you” or just “you” since it’s often clear when it’s meant in a plural sense. Or just say it in Spanish!
Ustedes it is from now on!