Tweet by @herrowna on October 23rd, 2020:
Another contender in my theory of why I’m feeling ‘desensitised’...is it maturity, loss of novelty...or loss of shame? *
"as a person who was raised amongst a diverse mix of religions + never took any of them too seriously, I sometimes get curiously jealous of how intense sex seems to be for the guilty-shameful-horny-obsessed" *
Can't stop thinking about this tweet from Person/Helena about shame and emotional intensity
Scrolled by this and couldn't stop thinking about it... Shame, especially around sex, is a battle between the body and the head with the body winning out but the head never really gone. Intense but not exactly fun
My best decisions, experiences, moments have always been ones where I was completely reacting in the moment and out of my head where my constant inner critic, inner monologue was silent
I think this is only possible on the other side of shame
That's not to say that this always exists on the other side of shame but it certainly becomes possible in a way that it wasn't before
whereas
This obviously doesn't apply to all types of desensitization and I don't presume to know what's going on in your head but maybe, just maybe you're not desensitized just experiencing quiet for the first time
The premise of this is fundamentally flawed
Yeah that sounds very dismissive to me
it's very easy to dismiss the thoughts of children as transitional and less important because of that. We all have rich inner lives and just because they change doesn't make where they are now any less valid. This belief that you just pop out on the other side of 40 able to synthesize all your life experiences into a complete version who you truly are is an infantile ideal
people don't think like that and they certainly don't think like that
true that one's convictions are only as strong as their stress tests but the believe that
makes me feel 'transitionary' and less of a person. Look up to your elders because they know better is true enough times to be useful but also false enough times to be harmful
shit like that is always said by people in their 40s
the devaluing of an idea or a person purely based on age does a monstrous disservice to people
I won't be a servant of stillness
damn that kind of set me off, didn't mean it as a personal attack :)
Is it weird to be proud of your dad? Not only proud that he is my dad, but proud of how he is? I feel more proud, more lucky the more of the world that I see
They're not perfect but that's ok because they can learn and change