July 4th, 2020

Current Identity Included

Transition Identities

Previous Identity iterations

I dislike the term 'failed relationship'; it doesn't cover how the relationship changed you, how you grew from it, only that it ended. It sets up a binary understanding of relationships with the 'goal' being longevity. Either you fail or you stay together forever.

In broad terms the understanding of relationships seems to be shifting. People are getting married later in life, having fewer sexual partners, and divorcing far less. I have a hunch that the number of children of divorce has impacted this as well.

Interestingly It's been reported that nationally the number of births decreased in 2020. At the beginning of COVID19 it was thought that all the time at home with your S.O. would lead to an increased birth rate similar to natural disasters or large events. In actuality, for many that much time with their S.O. turned into an S.O.S.

I saw someone classifying loyalty the other day in a way that I thought was very interesting. They argue that loyalty is best understood as a spectrum.

(Least) Employer - location - home/community - friends - family (Most)

The most friction occurs between people who classify something at a different loyalty level. (ie saying you are disloyal to a city if you leave). In this scenario the city for Person A is a location loyalty while for Person B it is at home/community.

There is another interesting framework that you can look through to better understand why people leave cities .